I think of the 40 days and nights that Jesus spends in the desert as part of his journey of self-discovery. He comes to fast and pray, and leaves prepared to start His ministry. For Lent, I’ve been thinking about my own journey of self-discovery.
Earlier this year, I began thinking about what it means to be “Roza.” While praying about this one day, a thought came to me: be yourself; be the person God made you to be. I then realized that before I could be myself, I needed to know myself first.
I went straight to Google and typed in “getting to know yourself.” I read many articles and followed advice to make lists of my preferences, track my biorhythms, and take a personality test. I don’t think I ever studied myself so thoroughly. But I’m glad I did. I learned so much, and I feel grateful to God for this gift.
I’m also grateful for the gift of Emmanuel. The day I was welcomed to Emmanuel was the first time, in a long time, that I felt accepted “as is.” I came in feeling shamed and broken, and I left feeling loved by God. I felt free to reclaim the most amazing thing about myself—I am, and always was, one of God’s beloved.